Relief
I am flooded with relief. I am feeling like myself again. And… I finally unfriended him from Facebook. I know it’s silly. But it feels so great to know that I have no ties with him at all. (At least for the summer). It feels so good to know that he now has no more control over me. I am free, finally. I just need to be happy with myself now.
right now:
There are Tibetan Buddhist monks in a temple in the Himalayas endlessly reciting mantras for the cessation of your suffering and for the flourishing of your happiness.
Someone you haven’t met yet is already dreaming of adoring you.
Someone is writing a book that you will read in the next two years that will change how you look at life.
Nuns in the Alps are in endless vigil, praying for the Holy Spirit to alight the hearts of all of God’s children.
A farmer is looking at his organic crops and whispering, “nourish them.”
Someone wants to kiss you, to hold you, to make tea for you. Someone is willing to lend you money, wants to know what your favourite food is, and treat you to a movie. Someone in your orbit has something immensely valuable to give you—for free.
Something is being invented this year that will change how your generation lives, communicates, heals, and passes on.
The next great song is being rehearsed.
Thousands of people are in yoga classes right now intentionally sending light out from their Heart Chakras and wrapping it around the earth.
Millions of children are assuming that everything is amazing and will always be that way.
Someone is in profound pain, and a few months from now, they’ll be thriving like never before. They just can’t see it from where they’re at.
Someone who is craving to be partnered, to be acknowledged, to ARRIVE, will get precisely what they want—and even more. And because that gift will be so fantastical in its reach and sweetness, it will quite magically alter their memory of angsty longing and render it all “So worth the wait.”
Someone has recently cracked open their joyous, genuine nature because they did the hard work of hauling years of oppression off of their psyche—this luminous juju is floating in the ether, and is accessible to you.
Someone just this second wished for world peace, in earnest.
Someone is fighting the fight so that you don’t have to.
Some civil servant is making sure that you get your mail, that your garbage is picked up, that the trains are running on time, and that you are generally safe. Someone is dedicating their days to protecting your civil liberties and clean drinking water.
Someone is regaining their sanity. Someone is coming back from the dead. Someone is genuinely forgiving the seemingly unforgivable. Someone is curing the incurable.
You. Me. Some. One. Now.
… … .
xo.
I am halfway done with College. It has gone by so fast. I know the next two years will be even faster. It’s crazy how much has changed. Who has come and left my life and how it is making me so much stronger. I can just feel my life changing before my eyes.
When I left that Princess Tower, I left so much more than a room. I am leaving behind a life I had planned out for years, a solid best friend, a 4 year relationship. It’s sad. I know it. But I know that this is shaping me to become a much better Jen. I want to be the best I can be and I know it starts now. Summer 2012. Let’s do it!!!!
I have been in a relationship since I was 15. And if you really count the two years before that with a middle school boyfriend. I am nervously excited to be single for once in my life. My only fear is that no guy will ever be attracted to me. I have never really had a guy attracted to me. I mean him, and one other guy. But I just never been flirted with and I don’t really know if it is from just being in a relationship or if it’s because of me. It’s all so freakin’ new and I am so freakin’ scared.
But I am ready to be happy.
The hardest thing I have to go through is to not let him have this power over me. When he has this power over me I get hurt. I believe the things he says and get trapped and the only thing it is doing is screwing my heart over, every time.
It’s time to protect myself and my heart. Time to let go.
Models!! (Taken with instagram)
Double date (Taken with instagram)
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